The Good Shepherd

I have had many jobs in my life, but I’ve never encounter a toughest one than being a parent.  I had no clue what I was getting into when the Good Lord blessed me with two sons.  Nothing has made me happier, more fulfilled, more worried, more terrified or anxious in my whole life.  Nothing makes me more joyful than the laughter of my boys.  Nothing troubles me more than their struggles and their tears.

The worst part is that many times, there is nothing I can do to make my children feel better.  I can’t make the hurt go away, and that really pierces my heart.

Tonight I wanted to take Grant’s worries in my hands and throw them away; but I didn’t know how.  I saw my young boy wrestle with fears and I feel helpless.  I tried to comfort him as best as I could.  I reminded him that he is immensely loved and that not just by his parents, but mainly and mostly by God Himself, who fearfully and wonderfully made him, but he could not relax.  After I tucked him in bed, he still was not at ease, but I gave him some space.  I sat down outside his room to watch some TV and I could hear him tossing and turning.  It was getting late and he was still awake. 

Later, I returned to his room and asked him if he wanted me to make him some company.  He quietly nodded, and I climbed in bed next to him.  I had quickly asked the Holy Spirit to lead me on what to say/do to help him feel a bit better.  So I began my “talk.”  (It’s funny how earlier I had told him, half jokingly that I felt sorry for him because he’s got two parents who loved the sound of their own voices : )

I told him that sometimes God puts us in difficult situations so we learn to trust Him.  I told him that through these difficult things He wants us to realize that He is in charge, that He has a plan and that His plan is perfect.  I told him how we memorize Scripture so His Word can come back to us when we need it.  I told him about one of my favorite verses, “Be still and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46: 10)  I talked to him about how I repeat that verse in my head every time I feel worried about anything, and how God is telling us to just calm down and trust Him.

At that moment, the words of Psalm 23 came to me. I recited verse 4, my favorite, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:… and before I could finish it, Grant finished it for me, “for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” He was excited to tell me that he knew that psalm. He had learned it in Sunday School with Bobbi. That’s when I told him, “you know? In this psalm, the sheep are talking.” That caught his attention immediately. “What?” He said. “Yes, you know, King David wrote it and he was a shepherd. He knew what sheep were like, and he figured that the children of God are just like sheep, who need a Good Shepherd, and that Shepherd is God Himself…” I continued talking about Psalm 23 and the wonders of its wisdom. I told him about sheep and how helpless and defenseless they are. I told him about the sheep’s total dependence on the shepherd and how important it was to have a good shepherd.

As I talked, I sensed Grant slowly beginning to relax. I continued. Later I heard a faint yawn. Soon, between my words about the needs of the sheep and the loving and caring actions of the hand of the Good Shepherd, I heard Grant’s relaxed breathing indicating he had finally fallen asleep. I took one look at that face I love so much and my heart ached. My little boy is in the hands of the Good Shepherd. Only He knows where the green pastures and the still waters reside. Only He knows how to lead him there. He is the only one who can restore my boy’s soul and give him rest and make his “cup overflow.”

I left his room thinking I had spoken not only for Grant’s sake, but for my own. I needed the reassurance of the Word to remember that “The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not want.” He is with me as well as He is with Grant, and I need as much affirmation of that truth as my 9-year old does. I need to renew my trust in Him. I surrender my life and the life of my loved ones to the Good Shepherd for I know He loves us, as He loves all of His children.

I rest on His promise that,

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.