My Little "Chocolate" Boy

So God created mankind in his own image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

“Mama, I don’t want to be chocolate.  I want to be white like everybody else,” Dylan somberly pronounced a couple of weeks ago with a frown in his face.  I have feared this moment ever since we decided to become an adoptive family, - the moment Dylan would begin to realize the differences-.  The moment seemed to be closer that day. 

I have always been concerned about not being able to provide the reassurance necessary to make him be never doubtful of his belonging to our family.  I have always worried that I wouldn’t know how to provide what he needs in order for him to realize that he is our son regardless of biology.  My concerns were put to the test that day.

 

Before this particular comment, Dylan has been mentioning here and there how his skin is “chocolate.”  Dan and I had been jokingly saying that he is chocolate because he is made of chocolate milk.  (Dylan’s passion for chocolate milk is matchless!)  But now, he was serious.  I could read a burden in his face and hear real concern in his voice.  I prayed.

To my surprise, Grant, who was “distracted” doing who knows what somewhere else, was the first one to speak, “you are different because you are special.  We are all special.  God made everyone special.”  I was stunned at how the Holy Spirit used Grant to show me the way.  No wonder Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like children. 

Truth transpired very clearly out of Grant’s mouth, for everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.  (1 Timothy 4: 4-5)  He made it all, and everything He made is good, and because we are the handiwork of the Most High, we are infinitively special. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. (Colossians 1:16)  By His hand and by His Word we were made.  If this fact alone doesn’t make us special, I don’t know what would?

Dylan’s inquisitive stare was still on me, so I quickly reinforced Grant’s words by saying, “yes, Dylan, you are God’s child.  He made you special.  You are special and so are all of us who belong to Him.  Besides, why would you want to be the same as everyone else?  That’s boring!”  To this, Dylan’s look of concern began to soften.  Grant agreed with me wholeheartedly, “yeah, Dylan, why would you want to be the same?  That’s terrible.  It’s better to be different.”  And different we are, indeed, I thought to myself.  I added how we are all different in our own family.  How we were all born in different places (I know, New Castle and Ashtabula don’t really sound as exotic as Panama and Guatemala, but they are different : ).  We also talked about the students at NCCA and how there are many children from China, and Korea and how there are African-Americans and how everyone looks different if you really pay attention. 

Toward the end of our conversation, I wasn’t sure how Dylan really felt about the whole thing, but he let it go.  I know that we will have many moments in which we will have to deal with Dylan’s questioning of the reasons why many things are the way they are.  I pray that the Holy Spirit comes quickly to our aide when we are to respond to him and that the words out of our mouths bring a truth that offers him comfort and reassurance.

A few days later, as we were driving down to do some errands, Dylan said again, “why do I have to be chocolate?”  However, at that time, I perceived a hint of mischievousness in the tone of his voice, so I looked at him on the rear view mirror.  His eyes met mine, and his look had sparks flashing back at me, with a smile that I know all too well by now.  His face was glowing with the thrill of tricking “old Mama.”  I smiled right back at him and said, “it’s because you’re made of chocolate milk…”  He rewarded me with a belly laugh filled with satisfaction and contentment which in turn filled my heart with warmth and love for my little “chocolate boy.”

For Personal Meditation:  If your adopted child is already home, have you experienced a moment like this, when his/her awareness of being "different" becomes evident?  If your child is still not home with you or is too young to articulate any of these ideas, how do you think you'd react to his/her first comments about being "different"?

Scripture to Ponder in Your Heart:  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)