As You Grow In My Heart

My Dearest friend Judy gave me a quote pertaining adoption the day she came by to meet Dylan for the first time in person.  Judy had seen pictures of him sent to us by the adoption agency from Guatemala all throughout the adoption process, but this was the first time she got to hold him in her arms.  Judy has signed a personal affidavit vouching for my husband’s and mine own character as worthy potential adoptive parents, and now she was offering me her loving hand in support once again in a very special way.  The lines read:  You didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

I had never read that quote before, but I fell in love with the truth that the simply written line contained.  Judy wasn’t sure where it had come from.  She just found the verse, thought it fit perfectly and presented it to me as a treasure.  And treasured it I have through the years. 

Not that long ago I finally found out the line was actually a verse from a poem called “The Answer (to an Adopted Child)” I fell in love with the words all over again.  The short stanza reflects so much truth in it that it should be some kind of anthem or required material for adoptive parents to recite to their children as they grow up and begin their quests for answers, identity and reassurance.

Reading the poem in its entirety moved me to put together my reflections about adoption in a blog.  There is so much wisdom to be extracted from the wise observations of a 6 year-old that every time Dylan says something that sparks meditation, I go ahead and write it down.  I decided to call the blog “As You Grew in My Heart” in honor of the poem and as a reminder of how the relationship within an adoptive family is laced and woven together by the unbreakable ties of the spirit.  This blog is then my attempt to share my reflections as an adoptive mother and to glorify Our Heavenly Father who so lovingly has also adopted all of us into His eternal family.

I have not had the opportunity to share the poem with Dylan yet, for he is still not 100% aware of the intricacies of adoption.  Not just yet, but I know he soon will; and for when that day comes, I will be ready to begin the conversation with the wise words of Fleur Conkling Heylinger,

The Answer (to an Adopted Child)

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
but still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute;
You didn't grow under my heart
but in it.*

*By Fleur Conkling Heylinger

First appeared in the April 5, 1952 issue of the Saturday Evening Post.